Friday, August 22, 2008
Equipment List: Tin Man Tomorrow!
I thought I'd just give a list of things you should bring:
1) Collared Shirt (this is required at the golf course)
2) Water/Gatorade/Etc. and lots of it
3) Change of clothes (especially after beach volleyball; nobody wants to sand-chafe during basketball)
4) Snacks/Lunch (if you don't want to grab something unhealthy)
5) All the equipment listed (we will use the best stuff, so just bring it even if its crappy): softballs, bats, gloves, bases, volleyballs, basketballs, golf clubs, portable iPod player, and anything else you think would be a good edition
6) Cash for Golf and Bowling
If anyone thinks there should be anything added to this please add to the comments.
Thanks,
Drew
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tin Man Schedule
Here is the Tin Man Schedule. Please look over the times carefully (and be on time/early for the first event) and the costs (it is a total of $36.00 for golf and bowling - please bring cash for everything).
Without further ado... here is the Tin Man Schedule:
Softball:
Location -
24250 Pacific Coast Hwy
Time – 8:15 a.m. (start time please arrive early)
Time Allotted - 2 hours 30 minutes
Drive – 15 minutes
Beach Volleyball:
Location -
Time – 11:00 a.m.
Time Allotted: 2 hours
Drive/Lunch – 30 minutes
Basketball:
Location - Firestone Fieldhouse at Pepperdine
Time – 1:30 p.m.
Time Allotted: 2 hours 30 minutes
Drive – 30 minutes
Golf:
Location - Lindero Country Club
Time – 4:30 p.m.
Cost: $15.00
Time Allotted: 2 hours 30 minutes
Drive/Dinner – 1 hour
Bowling:
Location - Corbin Bowl
Time – 8:00 p.m.
Cost: $21.00 with shoe rental; $17.25 without shoe rental
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Tin Man Bio's
Theme Song: “Rock N Roll Band” by
Top Sport: Softball
Bottom Sport: Golf
Ken Burns – Sampson without his locks. He-Man without his Grayskull (“By the power of Grayskull!”). And Burns without his ‘stache. This warrior might as well be playing naked without his patented flavor-savor. Mouth dressings aside, Burns promises to punish people with his bat and in the paint. An esteemed steering committee member, Ken Burns, had this to say, “Ken feel good about Tin Man. I rank sport as Softball (1), Basketball (Yes), Beach Volleyball (%), Golf (Q), and Bowling (Purple).” Clearly, we all must be prepared to battle Burns’ cunning and guile.
Theme Song: “Don’t Stop Believin’’” by Journey
Top Sport: Softball
Bottom Sport: Golf
Edward Charles Chevalley de Rivaz – This British prince, both in temper and lineage, is the first international Tin Man competitor. Coming from a royal line, which saw to the oppression and subjugation of generations of peasants, Ed will be forced to put down his cricket bat and polo stick for our crude aluminum swingin’ sticks and leather balls. Voracious inbreeding aside, Ed looks to be a dark horse in this competition and spoke to us about his foray into American sport, “’Ello Gov-na!” (Translated as “Hello Governor.”) This insight into the heart of the American spirit proves just how tough Ed will be at this competition.
Theme Song: “Rule Britannia” by
Top Sport: Beach Volleyball
Bottom Sport: Golf
Nate H – This grand man of humble beginnings brings with him a quiet spirit and a ferocious Karate chop. Nate, left on a doorstep of a Buddhist monastery at the age of seventeen, was taught to become a man by two kindly monks. His monkish upbringing will lend itself to a balanced cerebral game. Since committing to this Tin Man over a year ago, Nate hasn’t spoken. No literally, he has taken a vow of silence from the world. His closest friends, his monk fathers, and his illegitimate children, haven’t heard a peep from him. When asked to comment, nothing. So while you may not hear much bark from him on Saturday, there will be plenty of bite.
Theme Song: “What is Love” by Haddaway
Top Sport: Basketball
Bottom Sport: Bowling
Drew Hoff – A former Tin Man champ, Drew is a savvy veteran of the Tin Man Pentathlon and brings the experience of 7 competitions to the table. In addition to his storied participation in Tin Man events, Drew holds within him a monster, a special bowling persona, that if unleashed could strike the fear of God into the hearts of men, women, children, and dogs everywhere. “J.B. Riggins,” as this persona is known, is a chain-smoking, prostitute-soliciting, foul-mouthed lane rat. Riggins once punched a bowling alley attendant just for speaking ill of his favorite movie, “Cool Runnings.” When asked about the possible appearance of Mr. Riggins, Drew replied through a spokesperson, who stated, “Drew has no knowledge of J.B. Riggins, his actions, or the current restraining orders filed against him in
Theme Song: “One Blood” by The Game
Top Sport: Bowling
Bottom Sport: Basketball
Kyle Isaacson – He speaks softly… but carries a big stick. This Seattleite, then Californian, then Seattleite, then Californian, has scoured the West Coast searching for the true meaning of Christmas… I mean competition. His searches have finally brought him to the Tin Man Pentathlon. Kyle wears his travels on his countenance and his mission on his forearm. This mission comes in the form of a tattoo, scrawled in a lost language. Legend has it that it translates as, “Dominance.” When asked about these cryptic markings, Kyle, who is also known as “The Illustrated Man” in some circles, replied, “Oh. No, this is just Greek. There are literally thousands upon thousands of people that can translate this. And it means, ‘Grace.’” Oh. Well, then. Consider me shamed. This Tin Man season, Kyle looks to shame everyone even worse. He is a crouching tiger… beware the hidden dragon.
Theme Song: “The Red Death” by Thrice
Top Sport: Softball
Bottom Sport: Golf
Matt Jackson – Matt Jackson is a large man. Seriously. He is what happens when a bear mates with a gorilla. In a lab experiment gone horribly wrong Matt was created… and he has been making things right ever since. A former
Theme Song: “Ho” by Ludacris
Top Sport: Beach Volleyball
Bottom Sport: Golf
Forrest Oswald – The odds-on-favorite to win this year’s Tin Man, Forrest has recently been spotted training by lifting 12-ton buses and subsisting on a diet of egg whites, steamed cabbage, wine coolers, and licorice. The ever-humble Forrest Oswald refused to speak on his own behalf, but his most vocal and disturbing fan, Robby Mooring, had this to say, “I love Forrest Oswald. And tonight, when you hit your knees, please ask God to love him. He has the heart of a giant, and that rare form of courage that allows him to kid himself and his opponents, which would be you bitches. He has a mental attitude that makes me proud to have a friend who spells out the word 'courage,' 24 hours a day, every day of his life. Now you honor me by giving me this award. But I say to you here now Forrest Oswald is the man who deserves the George S. Halas award. It is mine tonight... and Brian Piccolo's tomorrow.”
Theme Song: “Obama is Here” by Ludacris
Top Sport: Basketball
Bottom Sport: Bowling
Jay Pickard – Tenacious. Noah Webster’s famous work defines the word as: “Holding or adhering to any opinion, purpose, or design, with obstinacy; a pertinacious beggar.” No competitor in the field lives up to the definition of tenacious more than Mr. Pickard, who upon reading the definition of this word, promptly tracked down the direct descendant to the Webster fortune, rang his doorbell, and kicked his ass. When Jay isn’t hunting down, and then beating down Dictionary-fortune heirs, he splits his time studying law and training for regional Tin Man competitions. Asked about his chances in this year’s competition, Jay issued us a harshly worded Cease and Desist along with a subpoena to appear on the hard-court… to get dominated. Consider us all warned.
Theme Song: “Flash” by Queen
Top Sport: Golf
Bottom Sport: Basketball
Tim Ronca – Tim trained for the Tin Man by swimming upstream with the salmon in
Theme Song: Magnum P.I. Theme Song
Top Sport: Softball
Bottom Sport: Golf
Bryan Schackmann – One of two Tin Man Champions in this event (Drew Hoff being the other),
Theme Song: “Summer Girls” by LFO
Top Sport: Softball
Bottom Sport: Golf
Jon Schmidt – Oft embattled with front offices and self-described as “THE Cancer of team cancers,” Jon is out for himself (Jon is actually telling me to write that he is penis cancer – the worst cancer he could think of). God help any of his teammates. When asked about his training regiment, Jon ignored the question instead responding with a deranged man’s scream, “I demand to bat leadoff! It’s leadoff or I don’t play! I’m Ichiro, Ichiro damn it!” All this would be true… if Ichiro was lacking in foot speed, fielding ability, and contact hitting.
Theme Song: “Ballin’ Boy” by No Good
Top Sport: Bowling
Bottom Sport: Golf
Micah Schultz – His desire, fueled by tragedy, makes Micah a dangerous Tin Man competitor. After the death of his younger brother, Micah a troubled 19-year-old street dancer from
Theme Song: “So Fresh, So Clean” by Outkast
Top Sport: Basketball
Bottom Sport: Golf
Daniel Stevens – Daniel, carrying with him the heart of a true patriot, looks to punish the competition with the skills he attained in the ring, fighting for his country. When Daniel's old friend, Apollo Creed, was killed in a bone crushing fight with the super-fit Russian boxer, Ivan Drago, Daniel who could have saved his friend by throwing in the towel at the most crucial and suspenseful of moments, blamed himself for the death of his friend. Fueled by the Russian's arrogance, Daniel arranged a fight with the new champion, only this time in Communist Russia. After demolishing Drago in what was arguably the pinnacle of his athletic career, Daniel is ready for his next challenge: The Tin Man Pentathlon. When asked how he changed his training technique for this challenge, Daniel told us, “You know, the usual montage stuff. Running in the snow, sit-ups in the snow, stairs in the snow…” Daniel brings the heart of a champion with him to the Tin Man, and looks to be a tough competitor in all events.
Theme Song: “
Top Sport: Golf
Bottom Sport: Bowling
Jason Valles – Jason Valles is from the wrong side of the
Theme Song: Nothing yet
Top Sport: Softball
Bottom Sport: Beach Volleyball
Scott Withycombe – This Tin Man and Raytheon employee will bring something to the table no other Tin Man could ever have dreamed of: Government Secrets. There is no doubt Scott has riffled through every top secret and classified weapons document at his disposal, in attempt to discover the key ingredient to victory (Hint: it’s Alcohol). The Withycombe-Bond comparisons don’t stop with the spy shit either. Both are also known for their love of the finer things in life, watered down martinis, and possess a swarthy English charm (or American in Scott’s case). When we asked this known lothario about the Tin Man, he had this to say, “I plan to win, take out your mother for a nice seafood dinner, and then NEVER call her again!” You’ve been warned… and so have your mothers.
Theme Song: Nothing yet.
Top Sport: Bowling
Bottom Sport: Golf